Giant Rabbits Make My Life Better




And in case you think it's photoshopped, I give you video!

Something Visual to Cut the Copy

Commitment

I'm going to try it.
The first draft of my list of 10 places I want to see at this point in my life.
And it's not for you, it's for me. Although I'd like to hear your lists if you're so inclined.

Also. It's in no particular order. It took long enough to get this far and I'm old, weak, and tired from the attempt.

Now that I draft it, I realize that the first bit could actually be a little itinerary! Huzzah!

1. Argentina - Tierra del Fuego to Buenos Aires to Patagonia
2. ...To the Inca Trail, Cuzco & Macchu Picchu
3. ...To Colombia - Bogota and the Lost City Hike

Hopefully the drug lords, leftwing guerrillas, rightwing paramilitary, the police, & the army - all suspected of wrongdoing - won't prevent me from the next few.

4. Jordan - Petra & Wadi Rum
5. Egypt - tour the ancient cities: Saqqara, Edfu, Kom Ombo, Luxor
6. Laos/Cambodia - Angkor Wat
7. Indonesia
8. Madagascar & the pirate islands (Sainte Marie)
9. Turkey - Istanbul, Cappadocia, Olympus
10. Kenya - (must stay at the giraffe manor)

And there's the Smithsonian and Dia de los Muertos in Mexico.
Actually, specific festivals and landmarks are the next item of business.
This is complicated stuff.

Baby Twitter Poems III

"Butterdie"

On a silver tray did the butterflies play,
their grace was something to see.
But blind was I, so put my cup by
and crushed then under my tea

Baby Twitter Poems II

"4 is the loneliest"

There was a lonely time between 3 and 5 that knew not it was 4.

Baby Twitter Poems

Occasionally I writer Twitter poems.
Knowing that they won't get archived there, I'll collect them here:

"Ode To All Day Breakfast"

If breakfast is dinner and dinner is brunch,
Let's meat in the middle and have bacon for lunch.

Say It With Vowels

The Golden Girls

Showoff

There are some new pieces of information that make your life better.
Today I discovered the seeing eye horse - miniature ponies that are trained in the same capacity of seeing eye dogs.

I realized that if they trained Aye-Ayes in a similar way, they'd be called Seeing Eye Aye-Aye. Similarly, if I got trained to help the blind, I'd be a Seeing Eye Lei.
Or, if they trained one of the McDonald's mascots, they'd be Seeing Eye Fry Guys.




Go here if you want one: http://www.guidehorse.org/

Skellies!

In 1940, British colonial officer Gerald Gallagher found a human skeleton and a sextant box under a tree on Gardner Island, a coral atoll in the western Pacific. Colonial authorities took detailed measurements, and in 1998 forensic anthropologists judged that the skeleton had belonged to a "tall white female of northern European ancestry."

It may have been Amelia Earhart.

Still Hallowe'en Week? Check.

Ok, so given that I haven't written or done much of anything at all in the past..oh...4 months, I figure going hog wild on ridiculous costume ideas this week is the most easy, accessible and entertaining way to win back readership.

Today's selection: Costume wearers I'd never trust around young children.

We have everything from the drooling cycloptic patio umbrella...


To Roald Dahl throwback with a transsexual haircut Pederast


To the I'm-probably-56-years-old-and-male-under-here situation


The "Ok now we're really calling the cops. This is the third time we've seen him in the playground this week" (he's new!)


The rotting husk of a wax museum obsessed serial rapist.
So..just...no. Really, really, really just no to this guy as a babysitter.

Silence of the Lamb

Self explanatory.
Although if I could have a theme song chasing me around, it might well be this one.

Hallowe'en Costume Ideas

Sometimes people turn to the web for fun costume ideas.
I turn to the web...and more innocent times.






Note on this last one: if the two false faced clowns didn't do it for you, how about the Oil Derrick children?
There will be blood indeed.

See more here

Unabsurd for a Change

..likely to be followed by a post that is absurd. I lay awake in bed last night thinking about how I live for stories. The stranger the way stories are manifested, the greater the thrill. McSweeneys is excellent for that. If you don't know them, you should. Their publications are packaged as delightfully as the baby smooth prose they house.

I came across this page.
Who knew that spinal columns could be so tasty?

When the warm weather has gasped its last, I'm going to screw with some libraries.

Herewith, a new way of reading:





Go to this place for more spinal chills.

We Push Around a Lot of Old Ladies From Flawrida

I can't believe I haven't put this up before.
Without a doubt, a hidden gem - one of my favourite youtube videos of all time. I don't know if it's the dialogue (choice), the accent (aces) or the wide lapel suit from 1977 that make it, but somewhere - somewhere - in the magical combination of all three, genius is born. It's supposedly culled from the vault of a tv station. A alternative version to a real spot that ran - and ultimately a testament to the warped creative mind of the voice talent.

Approved

For Pomsterity

Have I mentioned how much I love Etsy?
I would like Etsy to be my boyfriend. It has all the qualifications: creative, eclectic, surprising, giving, humorous.

If Etsy and I went on a date, I'm sure he would come bearing treasures untold.
A knitted frog dissection shadowbox, a print of a dashing barn owl, a paper bird.
Perhaps then we would make crafts. Go wild blueberry picking. Rent a rowboat and sing Irish drinking ditties in the cicada filled summer air.
Perhaps not.

Only Etsy could dream this dose of extreme reality.
A weird finger on the weirder pulse of mortality. It may seem sweet, but imagine taking tea over the mortal remains of Captain Joaquin.


According to the vendor,

We offer several different styles of pet urns and several styles of jar urn designs. Our ceramic jar urns can be personalized and customized with the pet/persons photograph, name, etc. Possibilities are endless for the designs which can be done.

See it, read it, buy it here

Yer Toast, Buster!

I read a...well, no.
I SAW a strange picture today. Captured my imagination. Then I read on about it, and yea, there are theories, but I would like to posit my own and you be the judge.

THIS thing washed up on shore in Montauk.



Now, theories about neighbouring government animal testing facilities have been put forward. Then some claims about it being a part of a (rather sinister) viral marketing scheme for the Cartoon Network. Then some guy saying that photoshopping a turtle shell on its back will say everything.

These don't satisfy me. I think the answer is one that is more obvious, but perhaps more terrifying as well.

To me, there is little doubt that these are the remains of the hellbeast Zuul.


I think you'll agree.

Peep the original article

Hello, Nightmares



To all those vegetarians out there, recognize that nature can go naughty, leaving us cowering in its wake. (Cower! :D)
In this case, mad cow disease takes on sinister dimensions that I tremble to contemplate.

"When his chickens started disappearing a few weeks ago, a farmer in eastern India figured dogs or jackals were to blame - until he discovered his calf making a meal of his poultry. "I've never read or heard about cows turning carnivorous," said Mihir Tripathy. "They eat grass and other vegetarian food but not fish or other non-vegetarian stuff." (examiner)

via Trendhunter