The Soundtrack That Should Never Have Been

You know that feeling when you get to the airport, and that idea of going away - finally getting to get the hell out of Dodge - really sinks in? And you think to yourself how exciting and new everything suddenly feels. And you also think about what your soundtrack for this trip should be.

Frankfurt Airport decided to answer the latter question on behalf of the millions of people that file through it every year. The result - the one song I hope to never personally own as my traveling anthem. Ever.
Like, ever ever.
I mean - I would rather have All4One's 'I Swear' or The Golden Girls theme song as my traveling anthems. Especially that last one. It at least talks about traveling around the world and back again.

The lyrics:

Just pack your bags and leave, tomorrow’s the big day
Destination Frankfurt, we’re on our way
to a city within a city and a hub full of streams
and impressions, like in our boldest dreams

Chorus

Baby if we try, we can ride across the sky
Heading for this growin’ airport city
Up the clouds along, where the winds ain’t strong
High above Frankfurt Airport City
Frankfurt Airport City

We’re close like never before, to the city you can’t ignore
Located right in the heart of Europe
And behind that significant horizon
It is Germany’s gateway to the world

Chorus

Baby if we try, we can ride across the sky
Heading for this growin’ airport city
Up the clouds along, where the winds ain’t strong
High above Frankfurt Airport City
Frankfurt Airport City

Solo

Chorus

Baby if we try, we can ride across the sky
Heading for this growin’ airport city
Up the clouds along, where the winds ain’t strong
High above Frankfurt Airport City
Frankfurt Airport City…

Now - you have a choice.
You can either subject yourself to the VIDEO or to the SONG

Oh, The Places You'll Go..

I've recently gone through a rush of wanderlust. I need to see things. Odd things. Things with small horns, long necks and sympathetic eyes.

Travellers from all over the world now make The Giraffe Manor part of their East African safari, the only place in the world where you can enjoy the breathtaking experience of feeding and photographing the giraffe over the breakfast table and at the front door.

Want to come with me? Of course you do, you blind fool. We shall have ever so many adventures, and frolics on and about these gentle giants. Hazzah!
Take a look at Giraffe Manor.

The Reactable

This may not be a surprise to anyone who is a fan of Bjork - she debuted it at the Coachella festival. It has of course made the tangible interactivity festival circuit lots too. y'know - in case you follow that circuit.
I'll be hot damned if it's not one of the coolest and most vision-of-the-future-y instruments I've seen.

Here's a bit on what it is.

The reactable is a collaborative electronic music instrument with a tabletop tangible multi-touch interface. Several simultaneous performers share complete control over the instrument by moving and rotating physical objects on a luminous round table surface. By moving and relating these objects, representing components of a classic modular synthesizer, users can create complex and dynamic sonic topologies, with generators, filters and modulators, in a kind of tangible modular synthesizer or graspable flow-controlled programming language.

Hookay.
And for those that don't speak..that..way of speaking...a couple little demos.

And the demo from the Coachella show.

And With This - My Apartment Hunting Comes to a Close

I still have a couple weeks left until my apartment hunting becomes an official nightmare (it is, after all, nearly the new school year. I am competing for apartments with the frothing legions of University students who are willing to take anything at all within 15 blocks radius of U of T. Which, unfortunately, is also where I would like to live.)
Given that that is pretty much like - all of Toronto.

So I'm thinking I may have to become less finicky about my living arrangements.
Enter: Craigslist. Did I mention how much I love Craigslist? I love it. I want to marry it and bear its classified babies. And then sell them on craigslist.



I don't know if it's a joke that this person is offering their broken van as a cheap apartment. If it's not, it's fantastic. If it is, then they are fantastic for tapping into some basic truth of the Toronto rental market. Maybe I'll marry them after the whole craigslist marrying thing.

Take a closer look: http://toronto.craigslist.org/apa/381947335.html

Numerals Are Not Allowed. Sorry C3PO.

You know, some people come down hard on celebrity icons like Gwyneth or Frank Zappa for naming their kids something ridiculous. But what about the everyday schmucks, running around everyday - ruining the lives of their sprogs and getting away with it scott free? Well done New Zealand, at least this kid with only get beaten up for half as long as he otherwise would have.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means."

But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.

The government office has opened negotiations with the parents about the name under a policy that says all unusual names must be given case-by-case consideration.

"The name has not at this stage been rejected," Registrar-General Brian Clarke said in a statement Thursday. "We are currently in discussions with the parents ... to clarify the situation."

Clarke said the rules are designed to prevent names that are "likely to cause offense to a reasonable person." Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

If no compromise has been reached by July 9, the baby will be registered as "real," officials say.

New Zealand law requires all children born in the South Pacific nation to be registered with the Births, Deaths and Marriages registry within two months of birth.

Wouldn't it Be Nice If We Could Still Make Such Bold Claims?

10 Min Story Intro

At lunchtime she began to peruse real estate in Budapest. She was surprised at how voraciously she began her research – papers, prices, Hungarian landowner bylaws. But it was because she’d been feeling uncertain recently, emptied of vigour and any real sense of purpose. And she’d never been there – both this headspace and, well - Hungary. Not only had she never been to Hungary– she’d never really cared to visit there. It was devoid of people she knew. It lacked any particular personal meaning for her. She’d heard it was picturesque and culturally interesting. It had one of the biggest porn industries in the world. She liked paprika. But that was the long and short of things.

Searching for real estate in Hungary was an audacious act. A gesture of defiance. A bird she was flipping at what she’d recognized (with slight alarm) as her own complacency. By the time she finished her pastrami sandwiched, she determined that searching for real estate in Hungary was going to save her life.

As If Knitted By Giant Grandmothers

Todays' theme: Tuscan hillside stunts.

It's 200 ft. long, and pink, and dead, and a bunny, and on a hillside in Italy. And it will contnue to decompose for 20 years, and people are encouraged to climb on it and..

Yes, I'm serious.

The artist statement in full:

Rabbit

The things one finds wandering in a landscape: familiar things and utterly unknown, like a flower one has never seen before, or, as Columbus discovered, an inexplicable continent;
and then, behind a hill, as if knitted by giant grandmothers, lies this vast rabbit, to make you feel as small as a daisy.
The toilet-paper-pink creature lies on its back: a rabbit-mountain like Gulliver in Lilliput. Happy you feel as you climb up along its ears, almost falling into its cavernous mouth, to the belly-summit and look out over the pink woolen landscape of the rabbitís body, a country dropped from the sky;
ears and limbs sneaking into the distance; from its side flowing heart, liver and intestines.
Happily in love you step down the decaying corpse, through the wound, now small like a maggot, over woolen kidney and bowel.
Happy you leave like the larva that gets its wings from an innocent carcass at the roadside.
Such is the happiness which made this rabbit.
i love the rabbit the rabbit loves me.

As I mentioned before, I'm already delighted by the transformation of familiar landscapes into the unfamiliar. This is an amazing example of that - much less 'elegant' than a Christo and Jeanne-Claude piece, but fascinating because it's a) going to be up there rotting for two decades and b) it's in Italy - one of the most aesthetically conscious European countries. In case the poetry of the artist's intent threw you - the bunny is an ex-bunny, dead after dropping from the sky. Littered on the ground beside it are its figurative 'organs'. Upon its face is a frozen mask of terror. Dead, dead, supremely gone.

How did they get permission?
HOW? HOW?!

Ryan: "No way."
Lei: "Totally."
Ryan: "Can you find it on Google Earth?"
Lei: "Uhh..hmm..it doesn't.. GUH! YES! AHHHH! HAHAHAH!!! http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Artesina+in+Italy&t=k&om=1&ll=44.244277,7.769737&spn=0.014941,0.041327"

....ahh....!!!

yess....!!!

....hoo."

Put your cursor here for the Artists' page and...click.

Heed this Warning, Sony Headphone Wearers. Or Pay Dearly.


I didn't know this. And I paid dearly for my ignorance ($90 dearly).

I had been using the large Sony headphones instead of the iPod ear buds - they're cheapy, and I find them a more comfortable musical experience. I also feel badass walking down the street with big headphones on. That's how I roll.

Last week, my iPod stopped playing in stereo. I mistakenly thought it was my earphones, so I threw them away, but after asking a sales associate to open two or three new headphone cases to find a "working pair", I realized I had an iPod issue on my hands.

To recap: I love iPod. But I've gone through 4 in 2 years.

DO NOT use Sony Headphones in an iPod. The audio input is like, half a mm too large for an iPod audio jack. Eventually you'll have to get it replaced. It's a common problem, apparently.

Apparently, the Theme for Today is: 'The Awesome Inane'





Everything is right with the world when I watch this.
And it gets better with age - like a fine wine.

I'm a Sucker for Generators

Yes, they've all been done.
But hot damn I love a good generator. I don't know why.

This is me as a Simpsons character.

Waste a pile of time by making your own here.
...or!
Check out all my del.icio.us tagged generators here

I Laughed So Hard, It Hurted Muches

Ok, so apparently this rejection letter doesn't check out - there is no antiquities department in the Smithsonian, and word has it the whole thing was concocted by a man with the same name as the amateur backyard paleoanthropologist.
Real or not, it's amazing. Start to finish - I nearly spat out my soup. Then two hours later, I thought about it again and nearly spat out my coffee.
Then again - this morning, with tea.

Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities

---

Flash Mobs - Parisienne Style


Every year, a big open air dinner party is held in Paris for eager gourmands dressed in white. The location is kept secret until 15 minutes before the meal begins. This year it was around the Arc de Triumph on the place de l'Etoile.

See more, envy more HERE

Awesome Banner


It's a new way of dealing with interactivity on a page. Really cool concept - and two different (but visually related) messages.

Go! See! Fun! Yay!

The UnPhilosophy of Freegans



I was introduced today to an anti-consumerist, anti-omnivorist philosophy called Freeganism. The above video (from the Canadian news magazine The Hour), kind of explains the movement. But Wikipedia summarizes nicely:

Freegans argue that people sincerely committed to living the "cruelty-free" lifestyle espoused by vegans must strive to abstain not only from eating, wearing, and using animal skins, secretions (e.g. milk and its by-products), flesh, and animal-tested products, but must strive to the greatest degree possible to remove themselves from participation in the capitalist economy altogether as workers and consumers.

I can summarize even further:
They go dumpster diving for vegetables.

Nasty as all get out, but a nice theory if there weren't so many obvious, ridiculous holes in the logic. If they really cared, they'd grow their own greens to ensure fair practice, organic growth and local economy. But no! Smarty Freegan pants emerge at night, and forage around for free food so they can snatch it and scurry to eat it on their moral highground.

I have an idea, Freegans! If you really want to do the environment a favour, join my movement. I call it E-ganism. We go foraging for ewaste to eat. It's not super tasty, but neither are nasty rat infested vegetables.
And! It's actually useful to the environment.
Also! Also!
Yer gross.

Second in a Series of 2 Min Threadless Stories


I occasionally like writing stories based on Threadless designs. My theory on the evolution of the unicorn can be seen here. Otherwise, here's another:

Frank was seedy, not to be trifled with.

He’d been through it, seen it all – and had lost an eye to prove it.
Sure, there was a time when he had been on the straight and narrow. Had kept his feet out of the fire in everyway possible.

Fritz told me that he’d been married. Had owned a little deli that he’d taken over from his immigrant father. He’d had a house, picket fence, gardenias. He wore respectable shoes on Sundays.

Some say that it was his time in the service that had changed him: the story goes that his company had come under fire. He was close to no man's land, but not close enough - and the Krauts were all over him. He was detained in a camp till the end of the war - getting grilled, and any number of unspeakable things.

That reason or anything else, it didn't matter much. The point is, a good dog had gone really unkosher. And the city lived in fear.


Get the Diabolical Hot Dog t shirt here.

Fainting Goats

Work that Got Killeds (WTGKs)





Yea, in light of the previous joke, it's something of a theme today. But it's my process of grieving - you see, I've had to face a couple instances lately of fun ideas that had to be 'reconcepted' for comfort or budget. It happens.
So instead of buying shoes, I opt to post a couple gritty examples of work that got killed to make myself feel better - and move on.

Put the pointy finger on this sentence and makeatheclicks for a fuller catalogue of workthatgotkilled.

HA! Copywriter humour! Ha...? Ahem.

A COPYWRITER DIES, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. The writer asks to see both. Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says: "Here in Hell, we have a room just for copywriters." Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.

"The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream.

"Uh ... better show me Heaven," the writer says. So up they go.

"Here in Heaven, we also have a room for copywriters," Saint Peter says. Peering into the second room, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.

"The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream.

The copywriter protests, "But I thought you said this was Heaven!"

St. Peter says, "Well, up Here, the work gets produced."

The Nightmarish World of Jan Svankmajer




I remember when I was in grade 4 - I had a teacher who REALLY skirted the curriculum. She would teach us about the gorier parts of the French revolution, and would occasionally screen art house films. One day, this teacher screened a nightmarish stopmotion feature called 'Alice' - based on Lewis Carrol's story. I never forgot it. Really haunting imagery - and, ok fine, let's face it - to a grade 4 student the entire thing was a huge 'wtf' anyway.

Years later I went looking for it again, and mistakenly thought it was a Brothers Quay production. Today I found that Alice is the work of Jan Svankmajer - a Czech surrealist artist who was really influential on American filmmakers like the Brothers Quay and Tim Burton.

See a clip of Alice by clicking.. uhm..

hm...

HERE!

Sensical Typos


Funny, I think we run into these more often than we realize.
I was walking down the main street near my house last night and saw this sign.
And I scoffed.
And then I unscoffed - because I realize that the Persian proprietor is slyly making searing social commentary while still managing to sell stuff. Where else can you so blatantly tell people that what they're buying is totally unnecessary, but still manage to sell it innocently enough.

Other takes on the theme:
Coluch asked what an 'excessory' would look like - a monitor cozy for cold winter nights? A pair of ears for y0ur mouse?

Dre pointed out that it should have explanation points at the end to really drive the point home!!!

I'm going to see if I can find more examples around the city - aside from the ad at the tattoo place downstairs looking for a "really good drawer".

Scenes of Carnage





I bought these little victims. Possibly the best purchase of the week when you pair them with sundry other office toys and a camera phone.

Well. Uhm. Yikes.


By now, most people have feasted their eyeballs on this new logo for London's Olympics in 2012. They yanked the animated version from the website, apparently because it caused seizures.
Seizures!

It doesn't really matter if you like it - the fact that it's sparked public debate is far more valuable than the question of taste. My friend Jeff and I were talking about it today - and he raised an interesting point: the design isn't the issue - when's the last time the public got firey about graphic friggin' design?

We're so often inundated by logos, that it's generally only industry professionals who quibble over how effective or 'good' they are. This logo has become a hot topic for the general public. People have a lot to say about pop 80s throwback motifs, apparently.

Learn mo' by perusing this NY Times Article

Green the Ungreen Places




Visit London conducted this campaign to promote open green spaces- by creating their own in an unlikely occasion. I think this is a fantastic idea. Not only does it turn the experience of the city on its head - which I'm a fan of anyway - but it's clear what happens to the urban community when they have something green around.

In your stupid parking lot face, Dundas Square.

Today's "What Does This Mean?" Sentence

April Bloomfield follows a more Robuchon-esque approach by boiling her Yukon Golds, then beetling them with the help of a ricer.

From the Everyday to the 'What the Hell'?


This kind of runs along the same basic theme as my previous post - the impish knife rack o' violence. Again, this is something of a blag (yep, used it again): it was mentioned as a Yahoo favourite, and received thousands of hits a day. This guy collects these images, you see. Can't blame him - and they can get pretty friggin' charming.

But I love examples of people turning ubiquity into spectacle. Like, there used to be a show called 'Weird Homes' that I loved. These people would generally be living in rural areas, or paradisical suburbs - and feel totally compelled to just really go mad scientist on their digs. Maybe out of spite.
....Hopefully out of spite.

Muwahaha.

Linkasaurus!

Let Me Tell You About This Knife Rack

Wedding presents. Tsk.
My friend Jess is getting married tomorrow. They're quirky, and young, and napkin rings just won't cut it, given that I've known her since I was six. What do you get a promising young couple with a colourful background and no counterspace?
This!

The bride can cut crudites. The groom can have a good cackle. This is frankly the best wedding present anyone has ever received. Ever.

The sales associate told me about their difficulty racking it. It's too violent for some, so they moved it. Then other complained that it brightened their day to see it, so they moved it back. This went on for a while.
The happy medium was to remove the knives from the rack and place it back in the window.

Want it? Investigate here.

Fred Rogers: More than a Man - A Legend.

According to this article my friend Karen sent me, Mr. Rogers is something of a demi-god. Granted, he had cardigans instead of superhuman strength, and he wasn't lusty the way the Greek demi-gods were..and..
he was like a demi-god anyway. Ok?

Here are two excerpts from this article on the very special Mr. Rogers.

Excerpt #1 on how Mr. Rogers saved tv:

When the government wanted to cut Public Television funds in 1969, the relatively unknown Mister Rogers went to Washington. Almost straight out of a Capra film, his 5-6 minute testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so simple but passionate that even the most gruff politicians were charmed. While the budget should have been cut, the funding instead jumped from $9 to $22 million.

Excerpt #2 on Mr. Rogers' bodyweight:

Mr. Rogers weighed in at exactly 143 pounds every day for the last 30 years of his life [...] According to the piece, Rogers came “to see that number as a gift… because, as he says, “the number 143 means ‘I love you.’ It takes one letter to say ‘I’ and four letters to say ‘love’ and three letters to say ‘you.’ One hundred and forty-three.”

Read more about his life, loves and beliefs by clackering HERE (yes, there).

MESH

The MESH web conference is currently running in Toronto. The conference explores the confluence of the social sciences and technology - the how's, but's and why's of our combustively complex relationship with the int0rnets.

Being relatively new to the web in any professional sense, I find myself entralled by the attendees themselves.
What first struck me at the MESH conference?

About 70% of the audience is on their laptops.

To clarify: they aren't all journalists. Some, yes. Not all. And a quick glimpse around confirms that they are all clearly multi-tasking. One man in front of me was supplementing the lecture with:

playing Yoshi's Island

lurking on Facebook

blogging

checking email

checking the MESH schedule

This is a complex relationship indeed.

I'm not mentioning this as an sort of disdainful aside. On the contrary, this is a group of peole who clearly love the internet. They navigate it as naturally as if it were a part of their breathing patters - without skipping a beat. They learn and do in perfect harmony.

And then, one of the lectures today proposed this question:
Are we becoming a generation of grazers? Is the sheer scope of the web undermining our ability to 'go deep'?

I won't pretend to judge the intellectual rigours of the webgen. I am part of it. It's my livelihood. I, frankly, love it. As one of the speakers noted today - it's the next step from the printing press and radio towards a 'ubiquitously connected world'.
Also, I don't have psychological profiles to substantiate an arguement.

But this MESH collective is a smart-as-hell sort of a group. And they were definately grazing.
This isn't a question of content though, it's a question of multitasking.

For all the philosophy and technology addressed in the sessions - I walked away, more than ever, with a sense of a new psychology. We are evolving to process a staggering amount of information, at any given moment. And, more intriguingly, it's not an exercise in 'must's'. We seem to want this - a seamless ability to work, socialize, reflect and anticipate..simultaneously.

I mean..
How many windows do you have open right now?
Be honest.

It wasn't extinct before, but it might be now..


This is all over the news, so I'm blagging a bit. But the idea of a fisherman hooking something that supposedly died 65 millon years ago is intriguing. What if its birth was triggered by the tsunami, Encino Man styles? Or, really, what if it is in fact 65 million years old?
That would be something, eh?

Old fish, yo.

Read the whole fishy news item here.

"Dude. That's like, super old..."

A fun article on the sense of discovering an internet something that everyone around you is already well-aware of. The author has dubbed this sensation 'web lag' or 'blag':

Blag (noun): 1. A mistaken sense of novelty. 2. A state of discovering something that is not even remotely new.

Make clicky here to read the rest

The Bavaria Ads I Wish I'd Made

Green the Ungreen Byways



Some may think that designing around our naturally destructive inclinations is submissive. I prefer to think of it as optimistic pragmatism: where stop drop and reverse tactics may fail, we could use a buffer zone into better environmental practices. The very least we can do is ease, baby - ease. Herewith the idea: Design highways as green energy generators.

The proposal would involve mounting horizontal wind turbines above the roadway that would be driven by the moving air generated by the passing traffic. The electricity generated by spinning these turbines could be fed back into the grid. Joe's analysis indicates that based on vehicle speeds of 70 mph each turbine could produce 9,600 kWh per year.

Enough tomfoolery. The source!

Oh God Yes


I don't quite know where to begin. This is awesome from tip to rat tail.

Left Hand Poem

My CD, Dre, issued a challenge: write two poems: one using only left hand keys, and the next using only the right.
For the left hand, this means that I had to stop at 'h' - I tend to type 'y' and 'n' with my right hand.

Here's the first of my left hand poems:

We saw each drafted face
Creased, red.
Each dead as dead rafters -
we swear.

As we treaded, fears grew.
We wear grave faces,
are dressed as dread.
We, the reverse-brave crew.

Oily, Oozy Exhibition Design




I love the mysterious, oily feel of this exhibition. It feels as if children's book characters escaped, and plunged into a puddle of tar. Or as if an oil slick had developed a sense of asthetics, and went out to fulfill a more noble artistic destiny.

I'd like to write a story about shadowy black characters like this - like in Peter Pan, when Peter's shadow escapes him and Wendy has to sew it back on. Some kids' tale about a tribe of people that looked like black, shadowy smudges - finding their way through our colourful, 3D world.

Anyway. Here's the link to this exhibition page. There are more images there too.

Yar! Avast ye Balloonery!



This is just plain fun - and now I don't have to sideswipe children at carnivals to pillage theirs.

Optical Inch


Yes, I'm aware that it's nearly a year old. But the Canadian site just launched, and we want hits ;)

The cheeky monkeys at TribalDDB New York originally devised the concept for this Philips Bodygroom site - a walk through the unexpected perks of the Philips bodygroom razor. Slei humour and yucks all around.

Visit shaveeverywhere.ca

Just - wow..

So Kate Moss is launching her own line of fashionable girl-about-town togs.
And yes, it promises to be big.
And that's what a fashion-forward model should do - own that territory. Fine, good, fun.

But then I find this associated quote from Peter Saville, who's helping to formulate the identity for said Kate Moss line. And I gape - because honestly, this is some really incredible language to be throwing around.

“Kate is in an exceptional territory of her own,” explains Saville. “She is an icon to everyone, in that young women can relate to her and aspire to be her. She’s an accessible icon, and similarly she’s not intimidating. She’s synonymous with possibility for young women – she’s not impossibly beautiful, or alluring, or mannered. It’s that that’s made her such an astonishing role model for her times. Plus Kate has never denied or denounced her roots; she hasn’t moved on to another world. All this has endeared Kate to a generation. She’s a brand. And this next stage for her is the inevitable product realisation of that brand.”

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to Kate Moss per se - nor the modelling world at large. I'm obsessed with shoes, and I love pretty clothes, and hell - I work in advertising. But when you're discussing 'astonishing role model'...well. Am I missing something here? Are there Kate Moss stories of courage and international activism that I haven't heard yet?
Has our sensibility of role model become so twisted with celebrity and iconicism that they're now indistinguishable?

Additionally curious is the observation that "she's a brand". The notion of a brand as an "astonishing role model" for our times is captivating. What sort of brand could that be (aside from the obvious Kate Moss response).

I put it to you, British tabloids. What do you think?

One of These Days...



You really want to know what captures the popular imagination? Baby fekkin animals.
This video slays me for two reasons:
1. Baby bun bun.
2. 207,400 - odd hits...That's enough to constitute the entire population of a small city.

I was laughing with Freddy about one day filming a series of these and slapping a brand on the backside of it. Then I remembered Telus.
My dreams are dead.

Fire day Monday

I posted earlier about flaming furniture. There's a reason why, and here it is:
Dave's house was on fire earlier today.
He was inside on his computer when the pounding and shouting began. He asked the question that everyone would likely do - "what should I grab in case it's all true?"

The obvious things are: yourself and sundry people/creatures. Thassall.

His cat had beaten a hasty retreat. And Dave ran out to see what was going on.
And it was the third floor apartment - very much on fire. Smoke, shattered glass, firemen, shocked expressions. And then silence, leaving the man upstairs with black belongings. Dave's apartment and cat remain blessedly intact.

Have you ever had a fire?
I was eleven and at Sunday school. I remember my parents wordlessly rushing me into a January jacket, and then into the car. I didn't realize why or what until I saw the sharp pitchforks of flames stabbing out the windows of our house.
The cackle of walkie talkies, the hiss of hoses - all of it was muffled. For kids, it's all roaring fire and sloppy wetness first. After the fire was done ransacking our home (it would take 3 months to move back in), we soggily trudged through the mud of charred family photos on our way up the garden path.

Half burned memories are seared into my mind.
It would have to be sundry people/creatures and photos - if I could.

and I'm sorry for that poor man.

Fiery Furniture of Fury


Satan's Ottoman.

I can think of a dozen hilarious scenarios involving this piece of furniture, and most of them involve hapless cocktail party attendees.
It'll set you back a mere £900 (which obviously excludes life & homeowner's insurance).

From ohgizmo

Why Is the Green M&M the Horny One?

Mars Company has been producing M&M Chocolate Candies since 1941. Various rumors have since been attached to different colors of the candy: the green ones are an aphrodisiac; if the last candy out of a bag is red, make a wish and it will come true; if the last candy out of a bag is yellow, you should call in sick and stay home; orange M&Ms are good luck, but brown ones are bad luck. M&M/MARS notes that all these rumors were developed by consumers, not the company.

The rumor that these green candies are an aphrodisiac apparently started or first gained prominence in the 1970s, when students reportedly picked the green ones out of packages to feed to the objects of their desires.

Very key article on colour legends. Here's another:

“There has been a great diversity of opinion on the subject, but the generally accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. The reason is that pink being a more decided and stronger color is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.” [Ladies Home Journal, June, 1918]

Our Game is Live (w00p)

Jess and I created this little site feature to promote Glad ForceFlex bags. You have a minute to catch all the items your friends toss out the windows. Good fun, if we say so ourselves.
And we do. Frequently.
To as many people as will listen. ;)

Play it here

Abandoned Places


People love abandoned spaces. Old, unused subways stations, desolate factories, overgrown temples in remote pockets of the jungle. Even if these places were never really used, like this hotel complex, they have an undeniable aura of mystery. They're populated by ghosts, because they silently exist.

I love this complex. It's very retro-futuristic - and screaming to be restored to the land of the living.

On the outskirts of Taipei, in Taiwan, is this abandoned resort. It looks so cool. Imagine if it was a functioning hotel! .....We would love to restore it. But the story goes they were trying to create a luxurious vacation spot for the affluent and rich streaming out of Taipei. But, apparently things got weird including many accidents during construction.

Learn and see more here.

Poem Art

This is not a new idea, but I heart the surrealism and visual loveliness that brings these poems to life. Billy Collins was the poet laureate of the National Library of Congress, and otherwise a literary figure and professor at various universities. His spoken word pieces are interpreted by various animation houses - each stylistically different, weirdish and hypnotic.
Wouldn't it be nice if advertising occasionally looked more like this? Or if art pieces were sponsored like ad segments - like a random piece of prettiness to stare at for a few seconds.

The above image is from the poem titled 'Budapest'

The above image is from the poem titled 'Today'.

See them all here.