Heed this Warning, Sony Headphone Wearers. Or Pay Dearly.


I didn't know this. And I paid dearly for my ignorance ($90 dearly).

I had been using the large Sony headphones instead of the iPod ear buds - they're cheapy, and I find them a more comfortable musical experience. I also feel badass walking down the street with big headphones on. That's how I roll.

Last week, my iPod stopped playing in stereo. I mistakenly thought it was my earphones, so I threw them away, but after asking a sales associate to open two or three new headphone cases to find a "working pair", I realized I had an iPod issue on my hands.

To recap: I love iPod. But I've gone through 4 in 2 years.

DO NOT use Sony Headphones in an iPod. The audio input is like, half a mm too large for an iPod audio jack. Eventually you'll have to get it replaced. It's a common problem, apparently.

Apparently, the Theme for Today is: 'The Awesome Inane'





Everything is right with the world when I watch this.
And it gets better with age - like a fine wine.

I'm a Sucker for Generators

Yes, they've all been done.
But hot damn I love a good generator. I don't know why.

This is me as a Simpsons character.

Waste a pile of time by making your own here.
...or!
Check out all my del.icio.us tagged generators here

I Laughed So Hard, It Hurted Muches

Ok, so apparently this rejection letter doesn't check out - there is no antiquities department in the Smithsonian, and word has it the whole thing was concocted by a man with the same name as the amateur backyard paleoanthropologist.
Real or not, it's amazing. Start to finish - I nearly spat out my soup. Then two hours later, I thought about it again and nearly spat out my coffee.
Then again - this morning, with tea.

Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities

---

Flash Mobs - Parisienne Style


Every year, a big open air dinner party is held in Paris for eager gourmands dressed in white. The location is kept secret until 15 minutes before the meal begins. This year it was around the Arc de Triumph on the place de l'Etoile.

See more, envy more HERE

Awesome Banner


It's a new way of dealing with interactivity on a page. Really cool concept - and two different (but visually related) messages.

Go! See! Fun! Yay!

The UnPhilosophy of Freegans



I was introduced today to an anti-consumerist, anti-omnivorist philosophy called Freeganism. The above video (from the Canadian news magazine The Hour), kind of explains the movement. But Wikipedia summarizes nicely:

Freegans argue that people sincerely committed to living the "cruelty-free" lifestyle espoused by vegans must strive to abstain not only from eating, wearing, and using animal skins, secretions (e.g. milk and its by-products), flesh, and animal-tested products, but must strive to the greatest degree possible to remove themselves from participation in the capitalist economy altogether as workers and consumers.

I can summarize even further:
They go dumpster diving for vegetables.

Nasty as all get out, but a nice theory if there weren't so many obvious, ridiculous holes in the logic. If they really cared, they'd grow their own greens to ensure fair practice, organic growth and local economy. But no! Smarty Freegan pants emerge at night, and forage around for free food so they can snatch it and scurry to eat it on their moral highground.

I have an idea, Freegans! If you really want to do the environment a favour, join my movement. I call it E-ganism. We go foraging for ewaste to eat. It's not super tasty, but neither are nasty rat infested vegetables.
And! It's actually useful to the environment.
Also! Also!
Yer gross.

Second in a Series of 2 Min Threadless Stories


I occasionally like writing stories based on Threadless designs. My theory on the evolution of the unicorn can be seen here. Otherwise, here's another:

Frank was seedy, not to be trifled with.

He’d been through it, seen it all – and had lost an eye to prove it.
Sure, there was a time when he had been on the straight and narrow. Had kept his feet out of the fire in everyway possible.

Fritz told me that he’d been married. Had owned a little deli that he’d taken over from his immigrant father. He’d had a house, picket fence, gardenias. He wore respectable shoes on Sundays.

Some say that it was his time in the service that had changed him: the story goes that his company had come under fire. He was close to no man's land, but not close enough - and the Krauts were all over him. He was detained in a camp till the end of the war - getting grilled, and any number of unspeakable things.

That reason or anything else, it didn't matter much. The point is, a good dog had gone really unkosher. And the city lived in fear.


Get the Diabolical Hot Dog t shirt here.

Fainting Goats

Work that Got Killeds (WTGKs)





Yea, in light of the previous joke, it's something of a theme today. But it's my process of grieving - you see, I've had to face a couple instances lately of fun ideas that had to be 'reconcepted' for comfort or budget. It happens.
So instead of buying shoes, I opt to post a couple gritty examples of work that got killed to make myself feel better - and move on.

Put the pointy finger on this sentence and makeatheclicks for a fuller catalogue of workthatgotkilled.

HA! Copywriter humour! Ha...? Ahem.

A COPYWRITER DIES, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. The writer asks to see both. Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says: "Here in Hell, we have a room just for copywriters." Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.

"The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream.

"Uh ... better show me Heaven," the writer says. So up they go.

"Here in Heaven, we also have a room for copywriters," Saint Peter says. Peering into the second room, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.

"The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream.

The copywriter protests, "But I thought you said this was Heaven!"

St. Peter says, "Well, up Here, the work gets produced."

The Nightmarish World of Jan Svankmajer




I remember when I was in grade 4 - I had a teacher who REALLY skirted the curriculum. She would teach us about the gorier parts of the French revolution, and would occasionally screen art house films. One day, this teacher screened a nightmarish stopmotion feature called 'Alice' - based on Lewis Carrol's story. I never forgot it. Really haunting imagery - and, ok fine, let's face it - to a grade 4 student the entire thing was a huge 'wtf' anyway.

Years later I went looking for it again, and mistakenly thought it was a Brothers Quay production. Today I found that Alice is the work of Jan Svankmajer - a Czech surrealist artist who was really influential on American filmmakers like the Brothers Quay and Tim Burton.

See a clip of Alice by clicking.. uhm..

hm...

HERE!

Sensical Typos


Funny, I think we run into these more often than we realize.
I was walking down the main street near my house last night and saw this sign.
And I scoffed.
And then I unscoffed - because I realize that the Persian proprietor is slyly making searing social commentary while still managing to sell stuff. Where else can you so blatantly tell people that what they're buying is totally unnecessary, but still manage to sell it innocently enough.

Other takes on the theme:
Coluch asked what an 'excessory' would look like - a monitor cozy for cold winter nights? A pair of ears for y0ur mouse?

Dre pointed out that it should have explanation points at the end to really drive the point home!!!

I'm going to see if I can find more examples around the city - aside from the ad at the tattoo place downstairs looking for a "really good drawer".

Scenes of Carnage





I bought these little victims. Possibly the best purchase of the week when you pair them with sundry other office toys and a camera phone.

Well. Uhm. Yikes.


By now, most people have feasted their eyeballs on this new logo for London's Olympics in 2012. They yanked the animated version from the website, apparently because it caused seizures.
Seizures!

It doesn't really matter if you like it - the fact that it's sparked public debate is far more valuable than the question of taste. My friend Jeff and I were talking about it today - and he raised an interesting point: the design isn't the issue - when's the last time the public got firey about graphic friggin' design?

We're so often inundated by logos, that it's generally only industry professionals who quibble over how effective or 'good' they are. This logo has become a hot topic for the general public. People have a lot to say about pop 80s throwback motifs, apparently.

Learn mo' by perusing this NY Times Article

Green the Ungreen Places




Visit London conducted this campaign to promote open green spaces- by creating their own in an unlikely occasion. I think this is a fantastic idea. Not only does it turn the experience of the city on its head - which I'm a fan of anyway - but it's clear what happens to the urban community when they have something green around.

In your stupid parking lot face, Dundas Square.

Today's "What Does This Mean?" Sentence

April Bloomfield follows a more Robuchon-esque approach by boiling her Yukon Golds, then beetling them with the help of a ricer.

From the Everyday to the 'What the Hell'?


This kind of runs along the same basic theme as my previous post - the impish knife rack o' violence. Again, this is something of a blag (yep, used it again): it was mentioned as a Yahoo favourite, and received thousands of hits a day. This guy collects these images, you see. Can't blame him - and they can get pretty friggin' charming.

But I love examples of people turning ubiquity into spectacle. Like, there used to be a show called 'Weird Homes' that I loved. These people would generally be living in rural areas, or paradisical suburbs - and feel totally compelled to just really go mad scientist on their digs. Maybe out of spite.
....Hopefully out of spite.

Muwahaha.

Linkasaurus!

Let Me Tell You About This Knife Rack

Wedding presents. Tsk.
My friend Jess is getting married tomorrow. They're quirky, and young, and napkin rings just won't cut it, given that I've known her since I was six. What do you get a promising young couple with a colourful background and no counterspace?
This!

The bride can cut crudites. The groom can have a good cackle. This is frankly the best wedding present anyone has ever received. Ever.

The sales associate told me about their difficulty racking it. It's too violent for some, so they moved it. Then other complained that it brightened their day to see it, so they moved it back. This went on for a while.
The happy medium was to remove the knives from the rack and place it back in the window.

Want it? Investigate here.

Fred Rogers: More than a Man - A Legend.

According to this article my friend Karen sent me, Mr. Rogers is something of a demi-god. Granted, he had cardigans instead of superhuman strength, and he wasn't lusty the way the Greek demi-gods were..and..
he was like a demi-god anyway. Ok?

Here are two excerpts from this article on the very special Mr. Rogers.

Excerpt #1 on how Mr. Rogers saved tv:

When the government wanted to cut Public Television funds in 1969, the relatively unknown Mister Rogers went to Washington. Almost straight out of a Capra film, his 5-6 minute testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so simple but passionate that even the most gruff politicians were charmed. While the budget should have been cut, the funding instead jumped from $9 to $22 million.

Excerpt #2 on Mr. Rogers' bodyweight:

Mr. Rogers weighed in at exactly 143 pounds every day for the last 30 years of his life [...] According to the piece, Rogers came “to see that number as a gift… because, as he says, “the number 143 means ‘I love you.’ It takes one letter to say ‘I’ and four letters to say ‘love’ and three letters to say ‘you.’ One hundred and forty-three.”

Read more about his life, loves and beliefs by clackering HERE (yes, there).